A couple of weeks ago, I was in the bathroom having an intervention appointment with Mary Kay who was working her magic on me with a little thing called showing free radicals who's boss microdermabrasion, and busy though I was with the pink lady products [which you can purchase and have shipped to you for free through my website linked above under the "mary kay" tab, not that I am plugging shamelessly or anything, not that I want a Pink Cadillac today or anything], I suddenly heard a loud THUD and I was sure Baby Girl was taking her first Danger Mouse geronomooooo out of her crib. But I came out of the bathroom to near no crying, to see Lovey sitting on the exerball just casually thinking maybe the sound came from the stairwell that leads to the other units in our building. But further inspection suggested that perhaps it came from outside. Still, we had no leads. When I was gone to the funeral last week, Lovey called me and said, "Hey, remember that loud THUD the other night? Well, I found scraps of a coconut in the wreath on the front door."

I will not even begin to explore who purposefully carried a coconut in the mid-February freeze to play darts at my stoop.

So a word from the 'hood. Beware of coconut cannonballs aiming for the target of the festive wreath on your front door. We just can't be too careful about the hazards of tropical fruit.