Three

In the past year you have:- swum in Lake Lure - learned to bomb down a hill on a balance bike - understood what it means to lose an animal much beloved - become a full-time big boy potty user. - become a complete Rock City junkie - overcome some serious separation anxiety - made good pals at the gym - visited Savannah, GA - made an imprint as the younger sibling who knocks big sister's things down on the regular - continued to be our giggle-prone guy - sustained a train obsession although you could do without the loud noises - "starred" in your first musical. Nevermind that it was a church production. You loved it. - rocked the Winnie the Pooh costume for the 2nd Halloween in a row. - evolved into a big boy bed. Even though you always end up eventually in our bed.

Can we remedy that last one by the time of your next birthday? Whatcha say?

We love you, Tater Tot x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3!!

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Folding clothes

Long day  yesterday. Taught an early class and a late class and did beaucoup grading in between. I was crawling the walls of my office, not a glimmer of natural light could find its way through the brick.

The highpoint in my day was getting to meet Baby Girl for swim lessons. That moment when she's racing into the gym, brimming with all the happenings of the school day and all the excitement of getting to change for the pool plunge--I wanted to drink her in.

After swim lessons, I got to hug and kiss my Little Man, but then I had to leave again, to go back to work again, and there weren't enough hugs and kisses to make that departure okay.

The cherubs were long asleep by the time I got home. Their little paintbrush eyelashes at rest, dreaming about summer and popsicles and bike rides.

I stayed up folding laundry and as my hands pawed a T-shirt of Little Man's my heart started to hurt. Touching his shirts rather than holding the real thing. It was hard to swallow.

I felt heavy, and then I felt glad. Glad for the experience of getting to teach and have a career, but also for the soul-hunger because of not being able to see my children as much.

This is surely the cry of every parent who works outside the home--not ever getting to see our children enough.

But this is also no doubt the cry of every parent. Because we all so much want to see more of our children.

Sometimes our eyesight is poor, you see. Sometimes we can't see our children because our focus is off. We see the toy-laden mess on the carpet, 5 and 37 Legos on the floor. We see sprinkles on the toilet seat, marinara handprints on pants. We don't see the shy but present need for affirmation.  We just see the scattered remains of Hurricane Craft Project.

When my work at school is done, I get to see my children. Therein is more work, however. I am increasingly grateful for the chance to see my children but sometimes I must work to see them, to fix my gaze on their beautiful personhood, to really examine their condition. So what if their T-shirts are fraying at the edges, what of their souls? Are they fraying too because of neglect?

I have been changed by this work of seeing. Folding clothes and touching T-shirts, the little armholes where arms that throw and wave and flail poke through. I never saw all this before.

This work is such gift and I pray that my eyesight would always be sure enough to do it and love it and become better by it. And to always, always be changed by it.

photo credit: Dr. Albert Kim

Spring Break 2013, as told by Baby Girl and Little Man

So for spring break, which is a really fun time where we can stay in our pajamas for hours in the morning, our mom said we had to get out of Daddy's hair so he could get better. So we drove and drove and drove to Savannah where Auntie Ashley lives. But on the way to Savannah? We stopped at a museum. With trains!

And Mommy took our picture outside of it but Tatum was trying to run inside the museum to see the trains.

And inside the museum, you just pressed this button and then the choo choo train came and there was a man with a rainbow sweater also looking at the train.

The big train inside was pretty cool.

The train table in the kids' room was pretty cool, also.

I liked dressing up in prairie clothes.

We got to climb on the real caboose.

Then we got to Auntie Ashley's house and we bounced on the air mattress and played with her dog Zeke while Mommy and Auntie Ashley laughed and cooked in the kitchen.

The next day we got to ride the Trolley. A man got on the Trolley whose name was Forrest. Even though Mommy said we shouldn't talk to strangers or take candy from them, Mommy said it was okay to talk to Forrest and take a chocolate from his box.

We went to a park that had an awesome playground. Mommy and Auntie Ashley were all excited about the fountains and the flowers but we were mostly excited about the playgrounds.

We went to an ice cream place called Leopold's.

There was a jukebox there. We put a coin in and did the Hokey Pokey. Well, mostly Mommy did the hokey pokey and we were embarrassed for her.

While we were waiting for the trolley to come pick us up again, we looked up at somebody's balcony and we saw this.

The Jepson Center is super cool and you can find these flowers made out of all recyclable materials.

Mommy said she has been friends with Auntie Ashley for 400 years and that is a very long time.

On the way home, we went to the Varsity and we got a Frosted Orange, as well as got these hats.

Three cheers for Spring Break!