Post-Pandemic Activities Where Dressing like a Giant Toddler Who Still Takes an Afternoon Nap Will Still Be Socially Acceptable

As we emerge from our temporary sweatpants society, the following activities will still command a dress code of Giant Toddler Who Should Not Miss the Afternoon Nap:

Recreation
Attending a Cuddle Party

Cosplaying at ComicCon

Participating in a potato sack race

Being a contestant on “Double Dare”

Going as Maggie Simpson to a Halloween Party

Attending a Silver Sneakers chair yoga class

Doing the walk of shame at 7 a.m. from a fraternity party

Embracing Furry culture

Professional

Managing a Croc Store

Performing in a Beastie Boys cover band

Riding on the “Bananas in Pajamas Live!” Tour Bus 

Shooting an ad for the SnuggieTM

Tinkering in the NASCAR Pit

Rehearsing “Peter Pan” for the part of Michael Darling 

Launching the Lookbook for YeezyTM Spring Line

Working the child birthday circuit as a Strawberry Shortcake impersonator 

Spiritual
Believing yourself to have been reincarnated as a hashbrown

Personal

Being Pauly Shore

Recovering from pacemaker surgery

Heading to take an afternoon nap as a giant toddler