I always never notice

The insomnia has returned and since I am not a counter of the sheep nor a committed nighttime reader, I suppose I'll ride out the Sandman by making another list. I always notice:

- dimples. (Uggh, I love those retarded muscles!)

- gaps in teeth. (I adore people with gaps in their teeth! Oh those enviable gappy teeth!)

- shoulder tattoos. (I am way too conservative to get one, but I'll confess I really think shoulders are such a beautiful body part, and tattooed? I think they're pretty.)

- your name's spelling. (Whether you're an Alyson or an Alison or an Allison is important to me.)

- the books on your shelves.

- eye make-up. (I may even ask you for some tips.)

- whether you used the correct subject or object pronouns (who/whom, I/me, he/him, she/her, etc.).

- the tone and octave and rhythm of your laugh (I remember laughs of people I haven't seen in 15 years.)

- whether or not I'm given a receipt. (I always ask for one if I'm not.)

- Asians. (What can I say? I've got yellow fever.)

- when you don't finish your sentence.

- in sitcoms, when they don't shut a door or close the cereal box or leave something unfinished. (Annoying!)

- when "Forrest Gump" is on TV. (And I watch and sob every.single.time.)

- symbolism and object lessons. (Well, not always, but often.)

- interior improvements to your home.

- when peeps use the word "irregardless." (Ew.)

- Dairy Queen and whether it's a Brazier franchise or not.

- whether someone is a radio listener whilst driving a car, or not. (I definitely am.)

- Ann Taylor clothes, particularly items that I sold when I worked there from 2004-2006

***

I never notice

- architecture. (Until my husband points it out.)

- handbags. (I'm not a handbag kind of gal, shocking even to myself.)

- where I put my glasses last. (Even though I only put them in 2 places in my house.)

- panty lines. (I think thongs are dumb.)

- that you like me. (I generally assume you are humoring me.)

- when bands are in town that I've always wanted to see until it's too late. (Gah!)

- when my kid is about to whiz on the couch (until it is too late)!