Mini Van/Mega Fun

I've had several friends purchase mini-vans over the few months and with every purchase came a decree. E-mails circulated with subject lines that rang of "The Swagger Wagon in our driveway? I don't know anything about it." I expect more of these e-mails in the years to come. It's just the chapter they're writing right now, wee little mouths and car seat totals expanding incrementally. My friends have come to grips with what this says about them, but I've only awakened to it all...

Because when you drive a mini-van, when you purchase or lease an honest to goodness space-pod on four wheels, you are reluctantly saying I SURRENDER. I surrender to the fact that what I transport is more important than my vanity. You might also be saying I can no longer masquerade as anything else. I can be a businessperson, a postal worker, a Jenny Craig model, a balloon animal artist, a diamond miner, or a carney. But first and foremost, I drive a mini-van. Orange slices and juiceboxes and whole weekends on the soccer sidelines? Yo. That's MY m.o.

I'm not there yet. But I am comfortable with a small orchard of raisins on the floor of my vehicle, because you can't fight every battle and a box of the Sun-Maid goodness is the perfect peace offering. And my li'l SUV is bigger than my kitchen at home, anyways, so it feels appropos.

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Baby Girl drew this picture of me. Do you see the resemblance? Uncanny, really....